confiscated

Things I’ve Taken Away from My Toddler Today (And Why)

      Object                                               Reason for Confiscation               

• Empty coffee container                  Standing on the top. Logrolling.

• Rolling pin                                     Putting it in her mouth. Refusing to remove it from her mouth. 

• Dry pasta                                       Sprinkling it over the kitchen floor, fairy dust style.

• Armchair (closed via ottoman)       Standing/jumping on (very proudly).

• Plastic shopping bag                      Attempting to put on head.

• Reusable shopping bag                  ”    ” (forbidden due to the scary bacteria I’m told coats the inside)

• My hairbrush                                  Throwing, boomerang-style, across the room

• Dryer sheet                                    Attempting to wash face with it   

• Cup/bowl/spoon/fork                     Banging punk-rock-drummer style on the high chair tray (new vocab this vacation: bang bang bang! Dad was doing demo and installing insulation in the attic…)